Dare to dream

So your decade hasn’t been a perfect 10? Maybe it’s time to take a cue from life’s more conscientious students.
IT seems like just yesterday when the dawn of the new millennium was on everyone’s lips. But now that the decade has drawn to a close, many of us now realise that there is no Y2K bug, no Armageddon and nothing to stop us from living our dreams.
But do you really believe it? No?
Then here are some questions to ponder over: How much has your life changed? Are you any wiser? What’s the biggest lesson you have learned? What do you want to achieve in the next 10 years?
We talk to a few individuals on how the decade went down for them. Life is an art of drawing without an eraser, says novelist John Gardner; now, if we can only get it right for the next 10 years.
Agent of change: ‘My dream for the next 10 years is to become an advocate of unity, not just in Malaysia, but in the world, through my writings,’ says Anas Zubedy.

Anas Zubedy, 46, entrepreneur
I believe my mission on Earth is to advocate unity among people. I knew this from the time I was a really young boy, growing up in Penang.
When I was three, my family moved to a Chinese area in Fettes Park, Penang. We were the only Malays living there. So while we were a Malay family at home, I grew up just like any other Chinese boy outside. I was an odd sight — a skinny Malay kid chattering in Hokkien.
There were children who refused to play with me, and there were those who refused to play without me. From that young age, I learnt that there were no bad races, just “unconscious” people.
Our immediate neighbours were Eurasians. They welcomed my siblings and I into their homes and taught us English. Then one day there was a new Indian kid at school. He became a good friend. Once, when I was at his house, my friend’s father reprimanded his mother for serving me chicken that had not been slaughtered according to Islamic tradition. I was just a small insignificant boy, and yet this man respected my faith enough to make sure that it was honoured in his home.
These experiences growing up taught me that no matter the colour of our skin or the language we speak, there are universal values we all share.
My experiences in university and in working for one of the world’s best multinationals has taught me conceptual skills and leadership skills, business pragmatism and the power of innovation, but there is one thing I’ve learnt which never fails, and that is God. He allows us to experience the fullness of life — which also means making mistakes, so that we may learn from them.
It sounds ironic, I know, but when we know our limitations, we start to perform. It means we have a good base to work on so we won’t fall as many times as before. That’s what my past 10 years were like. Growing older and accepting my limitations. These days, I’m able to see the bigger picture. I have also become more forgiving. For instance, I realise now that unity doesn’t happen in a day. You have to work towards the transition period.
Writing ads about racial harmony is one thing but we also work at the ground level to get the message across. Talk less, do more — that’s my philosophy. We need to have more conscious people, which is why I aspire to help more people discover their potential at the personal level. My dream for the next 10 years is to become an advocate of unity, not just in Malaysia, but in the world, through my writings.
Listening to her heart: Chim Li Yen left the rat race to set up a holistic centre with two partners. – SAM THAM/The Star

Chim Li Yen, 29, co-founder of The Violet Flame
The past 10 years have been like a path of self-discovery. I have transformed from an insecure teenager to an independent and confident adult. Moving from student life to the working world was both exciting and scary.
A nine-to-five job, responsibility and commitment were huge words to digest for a fun-loving, happy-go-lucky girl. Mid-20s was somewhat like a quarter-life crisis for me. I questioned the meaning of life when I became depressed, and turned to alcohol as therapy.
When my parents separated, I started a quest of introspection to truly understand myself and why I was here. I attended many spiritual courses and meditation retreats, travelled to ashrams in India, underwent alternative therapy sessions, devoured metaphysical books, wrote in journals every day and rekindled the connection to the divine. That was the missing piece I was searching for — the connection to myself and to God.
After five years of being in the pharmaceutical rat race, I grew disillusioned with the entire game and left to set up a holistic centre called The Violet Flame with two partners in 2008. I found the courage to be who I really was after I realised that I was not my identity, the money in my bank account or my material possessions.
One of my greatest lessons in life is the ability to trust myself and surrender to the divine. All these years, my training as a pharmacist had required me to use my head and analyse my way through life. Navigating life using the mind prevented me from taking unnecessary risks, but I also missed out on the unlimited possibilities along the way. It kept me safe from harm but I lost my vitality, the joie de vivre.
Over time, I realised how much I was missing out so I started to learn to listen to my heart, and life immediately became more magical. I wake up every morning with the intention to give my best in everything I do and to serve in every way I can. I am passionate about assisting others to find their way back to themselves. I pray for the wisdom to see things as they are, for humour so I may take myself lightly, and for humility to trust the guidance in my heart.
‘The greatest lesson I’ve learned about life is to live it fully every day, making each moment really special, and spending it with the o nes who really matter. Very often, we get so caught up chasing dreams that we forget to smell the roses,’ says Tiara Jacquelina.
Tiara Jacquelina, managing director of Enfiniti Vision Media
In the last 10 years or so, I spent my time doing the things I loved most — travelling the world, bringing up my two wonderful kids and working on meaningful projects.
Travelling has opened my mind and my eyes to a new perspective on life and living meaningfully, novel ideas and different ways of doing things. I always return inspired and re-energised. It makes me want to do better in my personal life and pushes the boundaries in the work I do.
Bringing up a “tween” or a teen in this day and age comes with a whole new set of challenges, but my two kids are as perfect and complete as they come; I can’t ask for more. They are intelligent, creative, artistically inclined, spirited, opinionated, but at the same time respectful, kind and loving. And I have the full support of a wonderful husband to thank, for helping me in this area.
Career-wise, the last 10 years have seen my best work ever as an actor and producer, and I’ve been fortunate to work with some of the most talented and passionate individuals in the country and even in the region.
The greatest lesson I’ve learned about life is to live it fully every day, making each moment really special, and spending it with the ones who really matter. Very often, we get so caught up chasing dreams that we forget to smell the roses.
Goals and ambition are important to have, but I really cherish precious moments like watching my children grow up, having the freedom to be impromptu enough to read a brochure, pack a bag and travel with my husband, spending quality time with my mother, making time for good conversation with good friends over a cup of coffee, and setting enough time aside for myself, too. Sometimes, you just need to BE.
‘I had a choice: Fulfil the needs of one — myself — or the needs of many,’ says Tsem Rinpoche, who has chosen to invest his time and effort in helping others.

Tsem Rinpoche, 45, founder of Kechara
I had many people tell me that I would never make it. Some people just gave up on me and walked out when times got tough. There were times in my life when I had no money, no food and I had even been confronted by dangerous, life-threatening situations. My life often played out like a movie.
I persevered. My mentors believed in me and in the potential of every person to be better. Meeting, studying with them and having the rare chance to serve them have been the most significant and transformative experiences of my life.
By their advice, I came to realise that I am only one person while all other beings in the world are many. I had a choice: Fulfil the needs of one — myself — or the needs of many. I realised that I couldn’t take anything with me when I die anyway, so why waste all this time feeling sorry for myself? It would be much better to invest that effort and time in helping others.
I was also blessed with many friends with warm, spiritual hearts. We started Kechara House in the year 2000. From a small shoplot, Kechara grew quickly, driven by the commitment of its members. Kechara celebrates its 10th anniversary this year with 13 departments and nearly 100 full-time staff dedicated to reach out with spirituality in action from Kechara Soup Kitchen to Kechara Care and Kechara Animal Sanctuary.
I’ve learned that all of us basically want the same thing. We all want to be appreciated and to feel that we have done something of use with our lives. Not only that, we want to feel a sense of purpose, although our means might vary. However, we have to respect differences in our social or cultural backgrounds, to genuinely look past the differences and look at the similarities we all have.
Self-worth is very important and it can only be developed if we realise all of us are in the same situation and want the same things. If we can do that, I think we can achieve a lot of peace within ourselves and with the people around us.
My plan for the next 10 years is the same plan for the rest of my life: I would like to do more social work and establish different organisations to help a more diverse set of beings. I would like to help battered people, abandoned animals and the homeless.

Yvonne Foong, 24, student and motivational speaker
As a kid, I watched a psychologist talk to her client on TV. She was able to help her client through empathy and unconditional positive regard. This stirred something within me so I decided that I wanted to be a psychologist when I grew up.
But life took an unexpected twist 10 years ago. I learned that I had a genetic disorder that made tumours grow and impede my central nervous system. I lost the hearing in my right ear at 13, and discovered that I couldn’t walk at 16. I have had nine brain and spine surgeries to remove different tumours since then and started a public fundraising campaign to finance better medical treatments in the U.S.
So I’ve been the patient myself, the one needing help and charity. In the process of taking care of myself, I experienced firsthand what the people I intend to help go through and feel. All the surgeries I have had, the social involvements and getting to know other patients have taught me something I found shocking at first: What people need more than short-term monetary assistance is the motivation to take responsibility for their own lives.
When I tried to help other patients acquire better treatments, I realised that not everyone was willing to put in the effort to help themselves. People often told me when I started fundraising: “Yvonne, we are helping you because you first helped yourself”. I didn’t understand it then, because I was merely doing what I needed to. Now, I finally get it.
My campaign has taught me self-worth by the distance that people were willing to go to just so I could have surgery in the U.S. Some promoted my T-shirts and books to their friends; some went on hands and knees to help raise funds. Whenever I was still short of money, many gave out of their life savings and said: “I’ll top it up”. They were once strangers. Their sacrifices made me feel worthy.
My campaign has also taught me humility. The distance that people are willing to go to for my sake has humbled me. Who am I to deserve such great sacrifices from people? Therefore, I always remind myself to pay it forward through my writings and public speaking.
As for what lies ahead of me, I still have one year’s worth of college credits to earn before I graduate with a psychology degree. But my campaign — Heart4Hope — is already inspiring people to think. I’m glad that despite everything, I am living according to my calling. But I try to be flexible and not rigid in planning my future. Que sera sera ... what will be, will be.

Happy feet: Joseph Gonzales (centre) teaching dance to his students at Aswara.
Joseph Gonzales, 50, Aswara’s Culture and Heritage dance department head
The first 10 years of this new millennium has been a greater challenge than I imagined. I was given the responsibility to helm a nearly dead dance department, Aswara. It was sink or swim. However, I was willing to take up the challenge and give it my best shot.
Since then, I have slaved over dance education and focused on fine-tuning the Diploma programme and instituting a Bachelor of Dance programme, creating what I think is an amazing syllabus of dance that is unique not just in Malaysia but on a global scale.
These 10 years was also about finding a “home in the world”. In my youth, I had naively assumed that I would have a wife, a house and 2.5 children at this age! However, I am still a bachelor after all these years. I still intend to celebrate life, and live with the choices I have made.
I am able to indulge in my passions for watching film, playing sports and travelling. I also visited my parents’ homeland of Kerala for the first time this year and plan to make many more visits in the future. The greatest lesson I have learned is ilmu padi which means that the more knowledge I acquire, the more I should be humble. I have learned patience and perseverance, being consistent in all my dealings and to follow through to the end.
I have been penniless in London, and learned that what does not kill me can only make me stronger. Yet, I never let the doubters or failures drag me down. I’ve kept myself open, kept my faith. I remember the tough times and I am grateful for the people who were there for me.
My new dream is to create a full-time professional company like Alvin Ailey’s American Dance Theatre or Lin Hwai Min’s Cloud Gate Company in Taiwan, with dancers trained at Aswara. My mind explodes at the thought of our best dancers performing regularly with professional wages. The world is going to be astounded!